At 36 years of age, I've finally done it. I've gone to Chuck E. Cheese. That beacon of insanity in the already tilt-a-whirl life of a parent.
Today, the girls and I headed to the library for the first time in almost a year. The "shush" lesson that we went over a buh-zillion times in the car, was quickly forgotten when Lauren realized the amazing echoing sound that books make when you fling them onto the floor. The bigger the book, the bigger the bang. Her pleasure was made painfully obvious by her squeals of delight that only she can make. Part dolphin, part maniacal chainsaw wielding clown. It was funny and I actually smiled until I saw the librarian looking at me down her bespectacled nose. Then I was just trying to hide my smile while shushing her. I'm such a rebel. HA!
After that we were headed to the dollar store to spend the girl's earnings from the previous weeks magnets. Lauren earned 6 dollars and K got 5.75 (one more nap and she'd have had it). They were pretty excited. I got it in my head that we should make a big deal of it and go to new dollar store. Granted, I've not been to a ton of dollar stores but the one near us absolutely REEKS of cheap perfume/air freshener/incense....They could be hiding corpses in the back and no one would ever know. The odor nauseates me and the flamboyantly gay (not that there's anything wrong with that ROFL) owner is sometimes kind of a jerk to customers so I'd rather not frequent his establishment if I don't need too. So I GPS'd (is that a word yet? If not it will be soon) it but the new dollar store wasn't where Mrs. Garmen said it would be. I asked the girls if they wanted to go somewhere to eat and McDonalds popped up first. They know I hate McDonalds so I think they just do it to bother me. That's the kind of mood I was in today anyway.
Then Katherine says "Let's go to Chuck E. Cheese". I froze and ceased scanning the road and cars around me for car jackers. "How do you know about Chuck E. Cheese Katherine?" I asked. You see, I don't recall the exact moment it happened but I've had a little bit of fear about Chuck E. Cheese since at least my high school days. It probably started as a jealously thing "why didn't they have arcades for kids when I was a kid? MAN NO FAIR!" Then it turned into a "hundreds of screaming kids in a sealed building with bad food, flashing lights, ball pits and robotronics? No thank you. Not even if there is beer". Once I had kids of my own, I pictured myself as the mother of the valedictorian and all the other mom's asking how I did it and I'd say "I saved her from Chuck E. Cheese. Never let her go. She never even knew it existed.". They'd all nod knowingly while (while admiring my superb mothering skills) silently blaming the rat for their own children's short comings and the fact that they now have no money left for the college fund because the Rat has it all. Muahahahhahaa
Ahem...that was weird. I'm tired, that's all I'm going to say about that previous paragraph.
Television. That's how she knows about Chuck E. Cheese. You can't erase the commercials from the shows even if they are on DVR. The point of letting them watch shows is so that I can get stuff done. Totally defeats the purpose if I'm sitting there fast forwarding through the commercials right? I guess CEC has ads on her new favorite show about dinosaurs. Great. Time to find a new favorite show...preferably one on PBS. No wait, they have McDonalds commercials. ARGH!
Back to CEC. It wasn't that bad. OK, yes, the food was horrid (how you can mess up fried potatoes is beyond me), the knowledge of what must be in the carpet and on all of the buttons and knobs on the games had me a little wigged out, and the place had a rat as a mascot. That was all bad but the kids were so excited over the oddest things. You mean I put these money looking things in this little slot, push a couple of buttons and tickets spit out at me? Magical! They didn't even know that they could turn in the tickets for stuff yet. Katherine was in love with the robots. She wants to get some for the house. 4 of our very own 8 foot robo-tronic creatures in our very own house. Gee, that sounds wonderful....if you are 4. If you are mom you are thinking that 4 year olds are very strange creatures indeed. Very, very strange.
So Chuck, if you are out there reading this blog. We will be back. The delight in my children's eyes will bring me back. Never ever ever ever ever on a weekend though. Ever. I mean it. When there are only your kids to drive you nuts, no biggie. When there are a hundred? I'll pass.
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